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10 Lamest Superheroes Ever

February 12, 2007 in Comics by Sean | 1 comment

DogwelderTracked this down today. It’s Pop Culture Addict’s list of the 10 lamest super heroes ever. And boy howdy are these guys lame. My personal favorite is Dogwelder:

He’s this madman in a silver welder’s outfit that basically just goes around welding stray dogs to villains’ faces. That’s it. That’s how he fought crime. Welding dogs to people. Mind you it would be a bitch of a thing to have happen to you. You try to rob a bank and you end up with a Lhasa Apso welded to your face, yapping for eternity. *shudder*

So I admit, everything I know about welding comes from American Chopper and Monster Garage, but I’m pretty sure it involves melting metal. So I’m not quite sure how you can weld one animal (a dog) to another animal (a bad guy). I know, I know. I shouldn’t over-analyze comic books. I mean this is the medium where a silver dude on a surfboard can be a serious badass. But welding dogs to people’s faces? That’s over-the-top even for comics.

Check out the rest of the top 10 here.

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February 12, 2007 at 11:05 pm

Blair

Lamest villains would be neat too. To name a few: Quilt Man, Kite Man, and Spanker. That’s right. Spanker. He spanks. Also, I’m surprised D Man didn’t make the lamest heroes list. He’s just some schmuck whose costume is a cross between the old yellow Daredevil outfit and Wolverine’s brown costume. It also has a big D on the chest. That’s it. He has no powers.