Jason Segal is a Genius

You’ve probably seen Jason Segal in movies or on TV. He was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Knocked Up, and he’s on How I Met Your Mother. He is a genius. He joined The Swell Season on stage in Los Angeles and performed an original song. One where he gave out his phone number. And invited women to call him, come to his house, and have sex with him. See? Genius. And hilarious. Take a look:


For those of you to lazy to actually watch and listen, here are the lyrics, in all their glory.

It don’t take long
For this young man to form a habit
and I know some of the things I do
they just ain’t right

So tell me would it be wrong
for me to use my celebrity status
to make love to a swell season fan, tonight

1-315-329-6673 – But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673 – But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673 – But only call it if you need me

Now I know you’re charmed
by my lovely on screen persona
well sweet and humble that’s always been my career

But wouldn’t it be a shame
for you to miss this one time offer
to make love to Jason Segel, this year

Please don’t be scared
if you’ve got bicurious feelings
I promise baby I won’t ever tell

So bring your lesbian friend
to my swanky Los Angeles mansion
Whoever said that three’s a crowd they can go to hell

Remember when I was in that show
Freaks and Geeks
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you thought I was sweet
well yeah I’m really that sweet

Remember when I showed my penis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, that’s right
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you liked what you saw
well that’s really what I’m working with

1-315-329-6673 – But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673 – But only call if you’re disease free
315-329-6673 – But only call it if you need me

Remember when I showed my penis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you thought it was small
if you thought it was small
well then your boyfriend
is probably
not
white.