The Remake of The Karate Kid Gets a Trailer

I first saw this over Christmas, but since that’s the season of love and goodwill towards men, and this made me want to punch someone, I put it out of my mind. You may recall that there’s a remake in of The Karate Kid in the works, with Will Smith’s kid as the Daniel-san character and Jackie Chan as Mr Miyagi. At one point it was rumored to be renamed The Kung-Fu Kid, due to the inevitable Gen X backlash, but it appears they are sticking with the original title.

Now, I’m on the record being completely, 100%, totally against this. My reasons aren’t completely nostalgic either. I think the original completely holds up, so there’s absolutely no reason to update it. So it was with great trepidation that I watched this, the first trailer for the unholy debacle film:

OMFG, it’s worse than I thought. Instead of Pat Morita beating up high school kids we get Jackie Chan beating up 12-year-olds. The original seemed noble. This just seems like child abuse. Instead of Daniel-san practicing crane kicks on a pier we get Jaden Smith practicing on the great wall of China. Subtlety? Naaaaah. And instead of Mr Miyagi teaching karate by NOT teaching karate, we get Jackie Chan teaching karate by simply teaching karate. Where’s the fun in that? Paint the fence Daniel-san.

The most unbelievable part? He’s wearing a DETROIT LIONS SHIRT! Really? Seriously? How many of those did the Lions sell last year? What was higher, their wins in the last 2 years or the number of shirts sold?

The Karate Kid shits all over theaters June 11, 2010, but I promise, this is the last you’ll hear about it on this site.