Just like Ron Burgandy in Anchorman, Charles Barkley will read anything you put on a teleprompter. His co-host knows this, and hilarity ensues:
That’s tuuurrible.
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Bryant Gumbel, the worst football play-by-play announcer EVER has been fired by NFL Network.
What made him so bad? Watch this:
Notice how he screwed up the sponser of the postgame show AND he called Tony Romo “Rick”. Adios Bryant. You won’t be missed.
Evel Knievel, the only daredevil to transcend sideshow spectacle and penetrate the national consciousness, has died at age 69. Probably best know for his spectacular successes and failure on Wide World of Sports, Knievel never failed to entertain. Check out some of his best and worst performances:
I’m so happy this is WVU…
Former San Francisco 49ers coach Bill Walsh died of Leukemia today at age 75. In addition to leading the 49ers to three Super Bowl victories in the 90s Walsh is arguably the most influential modern football coach. He is credited with popularizing the West Coast offense and many of his assistant coaches have gone on to be head coaches in their own right. (click on the chart below for details).
Walsh will be missed, but his legacy will be felt in the NFL for decades to come.
Is Mark Cuban, the multi-bazillionaire owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, HDnET, and Landmark Theaters going to buy my beloved Chicago Cubs? Apparently he submitted paperwork to MLB to throw his name (and considerable bankroll) into the ring. How would I feel about the always outspoken Cuban owning the Cubs? After all, he’s rankled other NBA owners and commissioner David Stern. So how would I feel?
In a word? Fantastic. Cuban has proven two things while he’s owned the Mavericks: he’s committed to fielding a championship caliber team every year and he’ll do so while providing maximum entertainment to his fans. Who wouldn’t love your favorite team being run by someone like that?
Alas, Cuban’s not the only bidder. ESPN.com runs down the other potential suitors.
Mississippi Braves manager Phillip Wellman had the greatest tantrum in the history of baseball today. He was able to get in several tried and true tantrum tricks (like kicking dirt on home plate, getting in the umpire’s face, and taking bases) AND work in a couple of new moves (I won’t spoil it too much for you, but let’s just say if this whole baseball thing doesn’t work out he can be an extra in war movies…)
Check out the full tantrum with commentary at ESPN or without commentary at YouTube.
UPDATE: Here’s the YouTube version
Ricky Williams, formerly of the University of Texas, the New Orleans Saints, the Miami Dolphins, and the Toronto Argonauts, has apparently failed another drug test by testing positive for marijuana. I say another, because this test came as he as about to be re-instated to the NFL after serving a one-year suspension from the league for testing positive to marijuana. Which followed a prior suspension for testing positive for marijuana. Oh, and let’s not forget that he spent time traveling the world trying to find himself, and apparently smoking a lot of marijuana. Look dude, if you want to smoke pot, that’s fine. Go somewhere and smoke pot. But don’t try to get back into the NFL if you’re going to keep smoking. Hint: they’re going to keep testing you. Dumbass.
NCAA Tourney time is here, but you’ve obviously taken a break from checking your brackets and immersing yourself in the two-day orgy of sport that is the opening round. So here’s a topical diversion for you: Drivl’s list of the 25 Worst Mascots in College Basketball. I have to say, the folks at Drivl are my new heroes because of this scathing criticism of Miami’s Sebastian the Ibis:
Dude, that’s a duck…with what appear to be either eyelashes or Eugene Levy eyebrows. It’s wearing a sailor hat and giant cartoon shoes, for crying out loud. You just can’t make a duck look bad-ass. Need proof?
Bravo Drivl. Bravo.
In a related note, here’s Slate’s list of their most Hated Teams in the Tournament (Dook sucks).
Check out this footage from a new Buick commercial where Tiger Woods tackles a guy trying to steal his clubs on the driving range. No stunt men. Tiger kicks ass!
NewTeeVee has scoured YouTube and found a few old NFL rap videos. I can’t even imagine the media firestorm if a team tried to do this today. But watching these really takes me back to my childhood.
Mike Tyson, once the Baddest Man on the Planet, and former star of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out, was arrested again last night and charged with DUI and cocaine possession.
Apparently he was stopped because he almost hit a police car leaving a club. I’ll tell you, that cop’s got balls. This is certainly not the first time Tyson has been in trouble though. He served three years in prison in the early 90s for raping Desiree Washington. In 1999 he was imprisoned for 9 monthsfor assaulting two people after a car accident. And, of course, he bit off Evander Holyfield’s ear.
For those of you who prefer to remember Iron Mike as the bad ass in the ring, here’s a little YouTube goodness:
Have you ever found yourself sitting at your computer one day thinking “I wonder what the Indiana State Sycamore’s football helmet looked like in 1987?” or better yet “When did UVA switch from white helmets to blue helmets? Well if you ever have then have I got the site for you. I was introduced to “The Helmet Project” a few years ago and have been constantly amazed at the level of detail this site has. The author of this site has documented the football helmet histories of every pro and college team in the United States since 1960. Have a burning desire to know when the Green Bay Packers switched from grey to green facemasks? Are you constantly perplexed by the myriad of helmet changes that the Oregon Ducks (and Nike) force on us? Well they’re all here. Enjoy! As a college football fan I love this site!
That’s gotta hurt! RankySpanky has a great post with their favorite SI photos of the year. Check it out. Some of them are amazing!
They’ve always said everything is bigger and better in Texas and for once they’re right. The Dallas Cowboys unveiled the design of their new stadium in Irving, TX last week with great fanfare and a pretty awesome website. Designed by HSK Architects the new stadium in Arlington, Texas when completed will be the largest domed structure in the world, will hold +80,000 fans in it’s normal “football” configuration with a capacity of over +100,000 people for other events, and will also have over 200 luxury suites. The dome will also be retractable and when in the open configuration will mimic the roof opening at Texas Stadium, the current home of the Cowboys. 
However the biggest “new” feature is a High Definition Video Board which will be the largest in the world. Coming in at 50 feet tall, 60 yards long (from the 20 to the 20) and weighing over 600 tons it will be the largest suspended video display system ever installed. As Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones said in Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback column:
“Almost no matter where you sit in the stadium you’ll be able to see the color of the players’ eyes. Your brain won’t know what to watch — the action on the field, or the game on the scoreboard.”
I only have two questions:
1) Where can I plug in the Xbox 360? Can you imagine Madden NFL 07 (Xbox 360)‘ or “Call of Duty 3 X360” projected at that size?!?!? Imagine the sound system too!
2) When will Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder start getting a case of the “I wants”… as in “I want a new stadium, bigger than Jerrry’s.”
Is it just me or are Mike Tirico and Bryant Gumbel living case studies for what makes a good play-by-play commentator and a horrible play-by-play commentator? In my opinion Tirico is the best pro-football announcer on TV at the moment. He calls a good fluid game, doesn’t bog you down with stats or crap no one cares about (that’s what Joe Theismann is for!). He was an excellent play-by-play guy for college football but actually calls a better game with the NFL. He also has a great voice for football.
And then there’s Bryant Gumbel… I’m still wondering why the NFL Network chose someone with little to no play-by-play calling experience to head their both. To say that Gumbel and calling a football game go together about as well as oil & water might be an understatement, but the plain simple fact is he’s just lost there in the booth. Thank god he has Chris Collinsworth (one of the best analysts out there) in the booth with him, I could only imagine the train wreck that would occur if someone like Bill Maas (FOX) or John Madden (yes I know, I’m waiting for the lighting bolts) were calling a game with him. But even more than that I think the thing that bugs me the most about Gumbel in the booth is his voice, it’s just not a good voice for calling sports, then again it wasn’t very good in doing the faux news on the Today Show with Jane Pauley back in the day. I’d rather listen to Fran Drescher call a game and she might just have the most annoying whiny, high-pitched voice on the planet…..
But I think the thing that drove it home for me in respects to Gumbel was his performance last Thursday night during the Seahawks-49ers game. I counted at least 4 times where he referred to RB Frank Gore as “Al”. And that was only in the 2nd quarter! Yes I know announcers make mistakes all the time, but still c’mon at least friggin try to get it right! If it were up to me I’d sack Gumbel and let Collinsworth call the games Vin Scully style (solo)….. He could do it.
