I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve turned my back on The Muscles from Brussels in recent years. While I fully appreciate the majestic awesomeness of Bloodsport, I haven’t seen anything Van Damme has done since his epic partnership with Dennis Rodman in Double Team. A look at his IMDB listing shows that he’s been turning out a steady stream of absolute shit for the last decade. JCVD looks different though. It not only looks good, it looks like it could be AWESOME. Check it out:

JCVD comes to US theaters November 7th, though it’s been out in France for months. And apparently the French like what they’ve seen: the movie has a very respectable 7.7 on IMDB.

A few years back, taking refuge from the deadly rays of the Arizona sun, young Charlie Brand discovered he had a knack for writing songs. Wondrous melodies ricocheted around his bedroom, destroying textbooks and posters, practically bursting through the walls. Songs too big to be contained. And too dangerous. Songs with the potential to cripple civilizations.

How to channel such savage power? How to use it for good? Charlie’s path seemed clear.

He left home and set out on a journey to bring this music to the world, eventually finding himself in the wilds of Los Angeles. He had little more than a hobo sack to his name, the songs in his head and a name: Miniature Tigers. Now if only he had bandmates.

Yes, in due time he did find them. The necessary individuals appeared to Charlie in the form of gleeful wildman drummer Rick Alvin Shaier and the mysterious, yet affable, Eli Brandom.

Lineup complete, Miniature Tigers combine influences ranging from The Beatles to The Beach Boys, from “Pinkerton” to Indiana Jones, creating infectious, pitch perfect indie-pop that boldly wears its heart on its sleeve. In the world of Miniature Tigers, songs of unrequited love and relationship anxiety are transformed with animal metaphors and translated into gripping adventure narratives populated by vikings, swashbucklers, gunfighters, cannibals, undersea creatures, and dinosaurs.

The band just released their first full-length album, Tell it to the Volcano, digitally. A physical release will follow next year.

“Tell it to the Volcano”

This, the album’s title track, sounds kind of like Jimmy Buffett and Graceland-era Paul Simon wrapped in an indie-rock package, but with tongue firmly in cheek.

“Cannibal Queen”

The opening guitar riff reminds me of Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen”. The rest of the song sounds nothing like Stevie. Actually it sounds more like The Beach Boys. High praise I know, but deserved. Tight harmonies, a great melody, and well-crafted lyrics about love and loss recall some of Brian Wilson’s best work.

Videos
“Black Magic”

“Viking Hearts”

Links
Buy Tell It To The Volcano
MySpace
Official Site

Valkyrie hits theaters December 26th (though oddly enough UA’s marketing tagline isn’t “Spend Boxing Day with Nazis”)

In case you haven’t heard the story, Folds realized his upcoming album was probably going to leak before it’s September 30th release date. So he took a preventative measure. He booked a day of studio time for him and his band, and they recorded “fake” versions of many of the songs on the album. They wrote new lyrics and music to go with the titles of the real songs and laid down the tracks in just a few hours. Then they leaked that as the real album. Genius.

Ok, back to the concert. Fortunately for me, I had heard the fake album, and I had heard two of the real songs, “Hiroshima” and “You Don’t Know Me”. So I recognized 7 of the 16 songs. Other members of the audience didn’t seem to be so fortunate. In general the audience seemed confused and irritated. People around me talked amongst themselves about not recognizing the songs. Other people in the crowd shouted out names of fan-favorite songs. And I saw several people walk out. It wasn’t exactly the audience rioting during the premier of Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring”, or booing Dylan when he plugged in, but it was definitely awkward.

Awkwardness aside, the band was tight, the new songs were fun, and the music was just plain good. Once they got through the new material, the band took a break and returned to play some old favorites. The crowd got more into things when Folds launched into “Zak and Sara”. The joy was short-lived however, as he only played four old songs before closing with another fake, a gloriously goofy tune called “The Frown Song”.

Overall the show was interesting, and the music was good, but it wasn’t all that exciting. Highlights were “Hiroshima”, “Zak and Sara”, and “Effington”. But the absolute best was the fake version of “The Bitch Went Nuts”. Hearing a song about a super-Republican dating a raving Democrat in the epicenter of American politics was very cool, and any song that includes the line “everytime I close my eyes I think I’m fucking Jimmy Carter” is a winner in my book. Here’s the song, from the leaked album:

“The Bitch Went Nuts (Fake Version)”

Here’s some video of “Losing Lisa”:

The real version of Way to Normal comes out next Tuesday, but you can pre-order it now. You can download the “Fake” version of Way to Normal for free. Really. It’s ok. Ben said so during the show. If you want to see how the madness went down you can check out the setlist from the show.

Notorious brings gangsta life to the big screen January 19th.

Kaufman wrote all of those movies, but he didn’t direct them. His directorial debut is the upcoming Synedoche, New York. It stars Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Catherine Keener, and Michelle Williams. What’s it about? It’s complicated. In fact, it’s so hard to explain I’m not even going to try. Just head over to IMDB and read for yourself. Then come back and watch the trailer.

Synedoche, New York opens in limited release October 24th.

Role Models comes to theaters November 7th.

Has anyone figured out what the title of the next Bond movie means? Diamonds are Forever, In Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Goldfinger. These are all titles that make sense to me. But Quantum of Solace? I don’t get it. In any case, the second trailer for the movie is out, and it looks like it’s continuing down the Bourne-style path that Casino Royale started. In other words, unlike most Bond movies, it actually looks good.

Quantum of Solace comes to theaters November 14th.

OR, just watch the GEICO commercial that finally let us put a face to his voice: