TV

Billy Mays has made his last pitch. The man behind such Made for TV products as Oxy Clean, Mighty Putty, and Orange Glo was found dead in his home this morning. He was 50. The cause of death has yet to be determined.

Mays rose to stardom after he began pitching Oxy Clean. His distinctive style won fans and critics, and made him ripe for parody. Despite the fact that some people saw him as over-the-top, his approach undeniably worked, as the products he pitched sold enormous quantities.

Whether you loved or hated him, you have to admit the world is a quieter, yet less interesting, place without him.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is the Don Rickles of dogs. He’s hilarious because he’s mean. Really mean. His coverage of the uber-nerds camping out to see Star Wars Episode II is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. So when he heads to the Bonnaroo Hippie Fest Music and Arts Festival, I get excited. Check it out as he makes some new, but dirty, friends:

Part 1:

Part 2:

How cool would it be to play Tiger Woods at golf? Probably not that cool, because you don’t stand a chance in hell at winning. But how cool would it be to play Tiger Woods at Tiger Woods Golf? Now we’re talking, since he’s probably a mere mortal at the game.

Jimmy Fallon put this to the test on his show, taking on Tiger on the 11th hole of Bethpage Black (the course Tiger just played for the US Open). Would he be able to show Tiger up at his own game? Or would Tiger prove that he’s a golf master, no matter the medium? Watch and find out:

Whether or not you’re a fan of war movies, if you haven’t seen the miniseries Band of Brothers you’re missing one of the great TV shows ever produced. Now would be a good time to catch up with it, since HBO will bring us its followup, The Pacific, next year. While Band of Brothers followed a company of soldiers on their deployments in Europe, The Pacific will focus on the experiences of three Marines in the Pacific theater. Just like Band of Brothers, The Pacific will consist of 10 one-hour episodes, and the production is a massive undertaking. The story is based on two books written by Marines who were there, Eugene Sledge’s With the Old Breed and Robert Leckie’s Helmet for my Pillow.

HBO has released a trailer for the series, and it looks phenomenal:

Look for The Pacific on HBO in 2010, possibly starting in March.

Apparently there’s a couple of people out there who love Arrested Development as much as I do. Fortunately they’re more talented and motivated than I am, and they’re making a documentary about the show. They’re interviewing the cast and crew of the show, plus traveling the country talking to fans about how the show affected their lives. There’s no official release date yet, but they do have a trailer. Check it out:

Keep up with the progress at the Arrested Development Doc site.

I really need to start watching Jimmy Fallon’s show. Every clip I see from it is great. Including this one, where Jimmy plays beer pong against former Golden Girl Betty White. Awesome.

Jimmy Fallon is starting to do some interesting things with his show. Last week he had the Dave Matthews GPS bit. This week he had Mark-Paul Gosselaar on to promote the new season of his show Raising the Bar. Only instead of doing the normal laugh-and-look-pretty actor thing, he came out and did the entire interview as Zack Morris, his character from Saved By The Bell. Awesome.

Actor David Carradine was found dead in his Bankok hotel room yesterday. He was 72. The details of his death are a little strange, but you can read about them elsewhere.

Carradine was known for different roles by different generations of moviegoers and tv fans. One knew him primarily from his role as Kwai Chang Caine in the 70s tv show Kung Fu. Younger fans recognized him as the title character in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill. That’s the role I most associate him with, and as a bit of a tribute, here’s his best scene from the film:

You may remember from his SNL days that Jimmy Fallon does a pretty good Dave Matthews impression. Last night he flexed that old muscle, putting together a commercial for a revolutionary new product: The Dave Matthews GPS. Hilarious!

Man am I a sucker for these things. Check out as Billy Mays tells you what’s really up with the products he pitches:

“Impact Gel” (NSFW)

“What Odor?” (NSFW)

The White Rabbits pimped their new album It’s Frightening, which came out Tuesday, by appearing on Letterman Monday night. They played “Percussion Gun”, a solid song with a driving beat that translates pretty well live. If you liked their debut, Fort Nightly, go out and get the new album. You won’t be disappointed.

One of my favorite parts of the Will Ferrell era of SNL was the slew of “Celebrity Jeopardy” sketches. Nothing beats Sean Connery asking for “The Penis Mightier”. Comedy gold. So I was pretty excited to find out that Saturday, in Ferrell’s return as host, they did a brand new edition. This time they got Tom Hanks to appear as himself. Genius. Watch, and laugh!

“And Tom Hanks is caught in a dry cleaning bag…”

The guys who brought you “Dick in a Box” are back, with their own special way of celebrating Mother’s Day. Hilarious!

Love Justin Timberlake or hate him, you have to admit he’s awesome on SNL.

The Decemberists returned to The Colbert Report last night, and unlike last time’s unsucessful Guitarmageddon challenge, there was no Peter Fucking Frampton to mess with the band’s mojo. They played “The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid” from Hazards of Love, and it’s impressive how well the song translates live. The first part just sounds like a standard Decemberists song, but once My Brightest Diamond’s Shara Worden steps up to belt out her part everything kicks into higher gear. Check it out:

If you liked what you saw and want to see the whole crew perform the whole album, go see them on tour this summer.

Because Hollywood is truly out of original ideas, 20th Century Fox is bringing back the Predator franchise. Robert Rodriguez is set to direct Predators. The movie will follow a team of commandos who have to face down a group of Predators, plural. Since Rodriguez’s schedule is full of Machete and Nervewrackers we probably won’t see this until 2011. Can’t say I’m disappointed by that.

We got a trailer for Sasha Baron Cohen’s new movie Bruno a couple of weeks ago. Now we get the first poster. And it’s fairly disturbing. If anyone knows how I can scrub that image out of my brain, please let me know. Bruno follows an Austrian fashion designer who makes everyone around him very, very awkward. If it’s anything like Borat it should be the most uncomfortable kind of fun possible. (click on the picture to see it full-sized)

Nobody realized it at the time, but looking back, The Dana Carvey show had an unbelievable cast of writers. The show had almost as many great writers as episodes. It only lasted 8 shows, but check out this list of writers: Louis C.K., Dana Carvey, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Bob Odenkirk, Robert Smigel, and Charlie Kaufman. Yeah, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich Charlie Kaufman. The episodes are all up on Hulu now, so you can try to figure out how such a great team of writers didn’t succeed.

I love a good trailer mashup, and this one’s pretty damn good. Take the audio from the Ocean’s Eleven trailer, and video from The Great Muppet Caper, and you get something totally awesom:

And finally, from the WTF department, watch as Richard Simmons flips the fuck out:

If you’re not a fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia just stop reading and go watch it now. It’s probably the funniest thing on TV, and it’s definitely the most wrong. It’s like Seinfeld, but with no morals.

Anyhoo, if you ARE a fan of the show you’ll remember the musical the gang put on at the end of Season 4, The Nightman Cometh. It was a high water mark in television history. It had drama, glamor, singing, and trolls. Truly spectacular. What could be better than The Nightman Cometh on tv? How about a live performance?

A couple weekends ago the whole gang got together in LA and performed the whole musical on stage. I would have give my right nut to see that. Luckily, via the magic of the internets, we can see some clips. Dayman, a-wo-OH-OH!

The world is one Golden Girl short after Bea Arthur died today. She was 86. I’m too young to remember her as the title character on Maude, but I’m the perfect age to remember her as Dorothy Zbornak in Golden Girls. And of course who could forget her in The Star Wars Holiday Special? But despite her acting talents, which resulted in multiple Emmy awards, she’s probably best known for her mannish looks and man-voice. Oh well, everyone has to be known for something I guess.

By way of tribute, listen to the classic theme song from Golden Girls, “Thank You For Being a Friend”:

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The boys of South Park could have a field day with this: Figure skater Brian Boitano is coming to Food Network. He’ll be hosting a show called What Would Brian Boitano Make? (a nod to the musical number from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut), where he’ll prepare food for a different event each week. This is just another sign of the descent of Food Network in to crap. If it wasn’t for Good Eats there would be no reason to watch it at all.

Moving on to good television, if you were a fan of The Wire you don’t want to miss this. It’s original scripts for three episodes (including the first and last episodes) and David Simon’s original pitch to HBO for the series. It’s fascinating stuff. The pitch in particular makes you realize just how much of the series was thought out ahead of time, and how many layers there really are to it. And it’s pretty funny that Stringer Bell was originally supposed to be called “Stringy”. Aw hell no.

Bad news Bourne fans: We won’t see a new Bourne movie until 2011. Apparently everything is in place except, you know, the script. No biggie.

So you went 0-16 last season. What do you need to do to improve? Get a new coach? Nah. New players? Nah. Make your logo looks slight more intimidating? Yep, that’ll do it. Even without Matt Millen the Detroit Lions are morons.

Drummer Josh Freese’s unique album packages are working. Read about the guy who bought the $20,000 package and played mini-golf with rock stars. I’m not sure it’s worth $20k, but it’s pretty damn cool.

Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon went back home and performed with his old high school’s jazz ensemble. Check out the videos of him performing his songs as well as some standards. Must have been pretty cool to be one of those high school kids.

Finally, this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. It’s the TV edit of the famous line from Snakes on a Plane:

What would Star Wars’ opening credit have looked like if it was an 80s action TV series? This video answers the question by mixing MacGuyver’s theme music and title style with clips from the original trilogy:

via SlashFilm

Love him or hate him, you have to give the guy props. John Madden is a Hall of Fame NFL coach. He’s an award-winning broadcaster. And he’s built the biggest video game franchise on the planed. Today, after 30 years on the job, he retired from broadcasting.

Madden takes a lot of flack for his broadcasting style, and a lot of people don’t like him, but I’ve always liked the guy. Sure, he often says things that are painfully obvious. And things that don’t quite make sense. And sure, he’s got favorite players that he treats differently (I’m looking at you Mr. Favre). So on paper I should hate the guy. But I don’t. And I’m not completely sure why. It could be because I can’t remember football without him. And because of the hundreds of hours of his games I’ve played, the majority with him spouting the same 20 phrases, over and over. So I’m actually a little sad to see the guy go.

Or I was until I heard who’s replacing him as Al Michaels’ partner on Sunday Night Footbal: Cris Collinsworth. For my money Collinsworth is the best color commenter in the business. And pairing him with Michaels makes something of a Dream Team. So rock on NBC!

After 20+ years on the air The Simpsons are finally getting some recognition. The Postal Service announced Simpsons stamps this week. Fans of the show can go to the USPS site and vote for their favorite stamp. Oh, and the release of the stamps in May happens to correspond with the price of stamps going up 2 cents. D’oh!

Speaking of things that are overdue, every Beatles album is getting remastered and re-released. The new editions will be out on September 9th, corresponding with the release of the Rock Band Beatles edition. Truthfully I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, the mix on the current batch of Beatles CDs isn’t great, so it would be nice to get an upgrade. On the other hand, the vast majority of music these days is mixed WAY too loud, to the point where it eliminates the dynamics and clips damn near everything. Don’t want to see that happen to The Beatles. We’ll just have to wait and see how these turn out.

Are we getting to the point where Lego is a legitimate artistic medium for sculpture? Or at least as a serious model making medium? Seeing this recreation of the Japanese Battleship Yamoto in Lego I would have to say yes. The artist’s site has more pictures of this amazing creation.

Eastbound and Down is coming back for a second season. If you didn’t catch the first season on HBO you don’t know what you’ve missed. Danny McBride, who you may recognize from Pineapple Express or Tropic Thunder, plays a former major league relief pitcher whose arm gave out. He returns to his hometown and teaches gym while he works on his comeback. The show’s not for the faint of heart though. McBride’s character, Kenny Powers, is a racist, egocentric redneck. His catchphrase as a pitcher was “You’re Fuckin’ Out!”. In short, if you’re easily offended, maybe this isn’t the show for you.

Speaking of coming back, The Rentals have a set of new EPs on the way. They’re calling the series Songs About Time, and there will be one release every three months through the end of the year. You can pre-order the set now, plus purchase or stream the four songs from the first installment, The Story of a Thousand Seasons Past, at their site.

This is just unholy: Peeps Lip Balm.

Google and Univeral Music have decided to play nicely. In order to appease Universal’s concerns about their music videos on YouTube, the two companies will launch Vevo, a site dedicated to videos from Universal artists. I feel like as a music fan and internet junkie I should have an opinion on this, but oddly I don’t.

Finally, a group of film students in England have started what I hope will be the next big internet trend: Films in One Minute, One Take. They’re remaking big Hollywood movies, but in one continuous take that lasts one minute. Since they’re made on a very low budget, props are homemade. They’ve put together two so far, Forest Gump in One Minute, One Take and Kill Bill 1 & 2 in One Minute, One Take. Both are brilliant, but I’m partial to Kill Bill. Check it out:

If you haven’t seen this week’s episode of House, stop reading. You’ve been warned.

Kal Penn is moving up in the world. The actor that started out as Van Wilder’s flunky, Taj, before moving on to a pair of Harold and Kumar movies, and a couple of seasons on House, is trading in White Castle for the White House.

Last night’s episode of House made it very clear that Penn is done with the show. So what exactly is he moving on to? He’s becoming President Obama’s associate director in the White House office of public liaison. What does that mean? No clue. But best of luck to him. I’ll definitely miss him on House though. He fit in well with House’s other flunkies.

Fresh off his masterful portrayal of Rorschach in Watchmen, Jackie Earle Haley is going to be Freddy Kruger. Haley seems like a good pick, though as a child of the 80’s (whose father made some questionable choices about proper movie choices for his young son), Robert Englund will always be Freddy for me.

From the “Someone’s coming to their senses” file: The remake of The Karate Kid isn’t a remake anymore. The Jackie Chan/Will Smith’s kid movie will be called The Kung Fu Kid instead, and will just borrow some things from The Karate Kid. So instead of being an embarrassing and heretical remake, it’s just a ridiculous and pointless knock-off. I guess that’s a step up…

How bad are the Pittsburgh Pirates? They lost to a community college team in an exhibition game. Ouch. That’s just bad.

Radiohead is doing something cool again (of course it’s something that doesn’t involve their music). They’re testifying against the RIAA in a case against an alleged file sharer. Just like when they tried out the “pay what you want” marketing for their last album, the band seems to be ahead of the curve again. Now if only their music didn’t suck…

There’s a new twist in the late night shakeup. You may know that Conan is taking over Leno’s 11:30 timeslot, and that NBC is giving Leno a 10pm nightly show. The twist is that some of the network’s affiliates aren’t happy about it. Boston’s WHDH has announced that it won’t air Leno’s new show. NBC isn’t very happy about this and it threatening to kick WHDH out of its club. I can’t say I blame WHDH. I know I won’t be watching the spectacularly unfunny Leno.

Iron Man 2 is getting ready to start filming, and Robert Downey, Jr. let it slip that Tony Stark won’t be an alcoholic yet. The story will revolve around Stark’s adjustment to becoming a super hero, and they’ll leave the heavier stuff for a later movie.

I’m pretty sure everyone likes Christopher Walken. It’s hard not to. After all, the guy’s managed to make a multi-decade career in Hollywood playing variations of one character: himself. He’s cooky, either to comedic or creepy effect. He’s so distinct that it seems every comedian has an impression of him. Yet he still gets roles because nobody does him better than him.

Today is the man’s 66th birthday. To celebrate, let’s take a look at a variety of things that make Walken The Man:
Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been under the weather all week, so I haven’t posted as much as normal. So some things have slipped through the cracks. Let’s get you caught up:

Shooter McGavin gets more ass than you do. Still. Even though Happy Gilmore came out 13 years ago.

This explanation of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” is exactly what I miss about being a music major. I love taking a piece of music and putting into its original context, then breaking it down to see how the pieces tell a story. And in this case it’s a great piece of music and a great story. Almost makes you want to be Russian, doesn’t it?

Statler and Waldorf went on Jimmy Fallon’s show to talk about Jason Segals’ upcoming The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time, which apparently has a script that doesn’t suck:

The Felice Brothers have a new album coming out April 7th. You can pre-order Yonder is the Clock now, and you can check out the first single, the rollickin’ “Run Chicken Run”:

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The ShamWow guy got arrested for allegedly battering a prostitute in Miami. The Smoking Gun has the mugshot goodness. I guess Slap Chop doesn’t work on hookers. Say what you will about Billy Mays; at least he’s never beat up a hooker (that we know of). This is a bit of a bummer though, since good ol’ Vince is fighting against Scientology.

A homebrew adaptation of Raiders of the Lost Ark is coming to the bigscreen. Three teenagers put together a shot-for-shot remake over 7 summers. That was almost 15 years ago. Now the film’s finally getting a release in Britain. Check out the trailer:

VH1 is bringing back Behind the Music. This seems like it should be a good idea, but then I got to thinking: what bands from the last decade would they do? And would any of them be interesting? I can’t imagine any scenario where I’d want to watch a Nickleback epidode of Behind the Music…

The SciFi Channel changing its name to Syfy. Must be Klingon for “watched by dorks who speak Klingon”. I’m not sure I understand this move. Geeks are notorious for resisting change. And you have to think SciFi’s core audience is geeks. So why change the name? Smells like desperation to me.

More bad news for geeks: Darth Vader has cancer. David Prowse, the man in the Darth Vader costume, is battling prostate cancer.

Here’s a little something to keep our geeky friends going though: The International Society of Supervillains.

Jim Carrey’s new prison comedy is too gay for American audiences. This is a change from most of his recent movies, which weren’t funny enough for any audience…

Now THAT’S a proper way to pay tribute to a pig: Take bacon, sausage links, ham, and ground sausage, form it into the shape of a pig, add some chili peppers for a ears and a tail, and worship at a porcine shrine.

Jason Segal’s script for The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time is apparently shaping up nicely.

The first poster for Spike Jonze’s adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are is out, and it’s good. Really good. Click the picture to see the full thing. The wild thing itself looks particularly good. The first trailer should be out shortly, and I’m hoping it will build on the test footage that leaked out last year. The movie is currently set to hit theaters October 16th.

Finally, in light of all the controversy about the male full-frontal nudity in Watchmen, check out this fake NES game starring Watchmen’s Dr Manhattan and his big blue schlong:

Let me go on record now: this is a fucking terrible idea. New Line is developing a MacGyver movie. Seriously folks. Hollywood is so desperate for ideas that it’s actually going to try to bring the pacifistic über-improviser to the big screen, more than 17 years after he left the small one.

Let’s assume, best-case scenario, they get Richard Dean Anderson to play an aging MacGyver. And, because Hollywood is predictable as hell, let’s assume the writers pair him with a young protege. Then we’re only one step away from MacGyver fighting aliens and getting raped by Spielberg and Lucas on South Park. And that’s the BEST scenario. Let me say it again: bad fucking idea. If the producers don’t watch out an angry Scot may blow them up with some duct tape, a nail file, and a nectarine.

<-- This is really, really wrong. But I laughed.

You've probably been asking yourself this question for years: How would Frank Miller interpret Charlie Brown?

Like Tetris? Wonder what it would be like to play it in HD? Here you go. Be warned: it’s quite possibly the most irritating/boring game ever constructed.

I just don’t have the balls to walk into a McDonalds and order a McGangBang. No, I’m not making it up.

There’s gotta be a reaaaallly good story behind this. I mean, how do you even go about getting the lion in the sidecar?

Elton John’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” was the number 1 song in the US when I was born. This saddens me deeply.

There was a cat fight at America’s Next Top Model. If they end up putting this in the show I might actually consider watching it. Well, probably not. But it’s still cool.

The cast of Seinfeld is reuniting for a few episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm! This is doubly cool because I didn’t even know Curb Your Enthusiasm was coming back for another season. I can’t wait!

Kevin Smith is set to direct a new movie he didn’t write, starring Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan. Don’t worry though; it’s still about dicks.

Jimmy Kimmel’s security guard Guillermo has the lead role in X-Men Origins: Wolberine. Funny stuff.

The state song of Oklahoma is by The Flaming Lips. The state passed a resolution making the Tusla natives’ “Do You Realize?” the official state rock song, though they let the Rogers & Hammerstein song “Oklahoma” stay the overall state song. “Do You Realize?” is a good song, but I can only assume the state hasn’t gotten a pre-release copy of Bishop Allen’s Grrr…, because there’s a song on there that would be perfect. Anyway, here’s the Flaming Lips song, in case you’re not familiar with it:

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The Beatles edition of Rock Band is coming September 9th. You can get it with instruments inspired by what The Fab Four played, or just get the game. No word on the track list yet, but come on, it’s The Beatles, you know it will be good.

Finally, Watchmen is finally out, and I will find a way to go see it tomorrow. Until then, amuse yourself by watching what Watchmen would have looked like as a Saturday morning cartoon:

I just rediscovered this classic clip from Whose Line is it Anyway (the American version). The show was always good for a few laughs, but none of them compared to Richard Simmons joining the crew for a quick game of Living Scenery:

It never fails to make me laugh until my stomach cramps up and I have tears in my eyes.

A ton of episodes of Bob Ross’ Joy of Painting are online! I’ve never painted in my life, and I’m not high. But I just sat and watched a whole episode. And I am reeeaaalllyyy relaxed. Bob was truly a force for good in the universe.

Looks like the Arrested Development movie is movie forward now that Michael Cera has agreed to be in it. A note to the folks behind the movie: screw this up and there will be a lot of angry fanboys. Fanboys who won’t be afraid to treat you like the cops treat Oscar.

How did I miss the little fact that The Roots are going to be the house band for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon? Could anything possibly give Fallon more street cred? This is huge. I may actually have to watch the show now.

There’s a new internet meem emerging where people take music videos and change the lyrics to describe what’s going on. My description doesn’t do it justice, but this literal version of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” will give you the gist:

Eddie Murphey is set to play Richard Pryor in a biopic about the comedian. This would have been a great idea 20 years ago. But now? I’m not so sure. Eddie’s been in too many movies like Meet Dave and Norbit recently. I’m not sure he can pull this off anymore. Please Eddie, prove me wrong.

Samuel L. Jackson will be playing muthafuckin’ Nick Fury in nine muthafuckin’ movies. Looks like Marvel really is planning on making all these superhero movies. Right muthafuckin’ on.

It looks like old people and idiots aren’t the only one’s CasForGold.com is targeting. Ft. Knox gets cash for its unused gold. Ahh, you’ve gotta love The Onion.

Finally, this new Tiger Woods/Nike commercial is perfect:

In case you didn’t know, Friday was Conan’s last episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien. He’s leaving the show, and New York, behind to take over Leno’s gig on The Tonight Show. He spent his last show replaying classic moments from the show, thanking people, and trying not to cry. For his final musical guest he managed to book a band that’s had a long and fruitful relationship with him, The White Stripes. It was Jack and Meg’s first show since they cancelled the Icky Thump tour in the summer of 2007. They busted out a very different, very strange version of “We’re Going to Be Friends”, with Meg on guitar.

Good luck Conan! Don’t suck like Leno.

Did anyone in this country actually think Paul Blart: Mall Cop looked remotely funny? Well, if you did, you probably won’t like this. Seth Rogan, Anna Faris, and Ray Liotta star in Observe and Report, the story of what happens when you push a bi-polar security guard too far. Check out the (obviously NSFW) red band trailer below:

Observe and Report hits theaters April 10th.

There’s a bunch of stuff I’ve run across recently that I want to comment on, but none of it is really newsworthy or interesting enough for a whole post. Here we go:

Bravo to Entertainment Weekly for summing up Micheal Bay’s Transformers debacle

U2 is playing Letterman for a whole week. Is this a good idea? Oh, maybe if that means no of Paul Schaffer for the whole week…

Speaking of U2, the title track from No Line on the Horizon leaked, and was quickly pulled from every imaginable place. So no idea how good or bad it is.

I spent the weekend watching the first three seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and it’s ridiculously goddamn funny. About the time the gang tried to put a baby in a tanning booth I realized they were on a different level of twisted than any other show on television. Fittingly, I was in Philadelphia today, and it was very sunny.

A new Decemberists’ song, “Hazards of Love 1″, is available for streaming from their MySpace. It’s very Decemberists. So if you like that sort of thing check it out. I’m officially really excited for their new album.

Pepsi is introducing Pepsi Throwback and Mountain Dew Throwback in April, with real sugar. I find this mildly interesting for some reason, even though I don’t completely buy into the anti-high-fructose-corn-syrup hype.

House was awesome last night, despite what TV Squad has to say. Give me House, an atheist priest, and a toe falling off and I’m happy.

There’s more to The Simpsons new opening than you probably noticed.

Madonna’s officially really, really creepy.

It’s a gross understatement to say The Simpsons is a massive part of our collective pop culture. We’re at the point where there’s a whole generation of COLLEGE STUDENTS who can’t remember a time when the show wasn’t on. Over the course of the show’s incredible run a lot of things have changed. But one thing has stayed relatively consistent: the intro. Aside from the chalkboard jokes, Lisa’s sax solo, and the couch bit, the intro really hasn’t changed in the show’s 20 season (wait, is that right? 20 seasons? I. Am. Old.)

Well that’s all about to change. With this Sunday’s episode the show is going HD. And with the upgrade comes a massively overhauled intro. They’ve worked in a whole bunch of references to the show’s history (look for the tommacco juice and Mr. Sparkle at the supermarket checkout). Check it out below, and hit the “HQ” button to see it in all its glory:

So, what do you think? A much needed upgrade? Or needless tinkering with a classic? Or are you just surprised the show’s still on?

This is just weird. Former actor, current burgeoning hip hop star Joaquin Phoenix made an appearance on Letterman last night to promote his final film, Two Lovers. He showed up looking like a mountain man in a nice suit, then things got weirder. He was either a) stoned or b) faking it really well. Check out the awkwardness and hilarity that ensued as Dave tried to get him going, then just made fun of him:

What do you think? Was his behavior genuine? Or just an act? And is he really retired from movies? Will he really start making hip hop music? Is he crazy, or just doing A LOT of drugs? Do you even care?

Saturday Night Live’s Seth Myers tackled the whole Michael Phelps smoking a bong scandal on his “Really!?!” segment yesterday. And he hit the nail right on the head. Bravo Seth, bravo.

You know who Billy Mays is. He’s the loud, energetic, bearded guy that pitches all sorts of crap on TV. OxiClean, Orange Glo, Mighty Putty, etc. He’s almost a parody of a pitchman all by himself, but it’s still funny to see someone make fun of him. Here’s a couple of his commercials with alternate voiceovers. Funny shit!

Gopher

Mighty Putty – “Fuckin’ Optimus Prime can’t tear this shit off”

Zorbees

Neverscrub – “Nothin’ but your bare hands and tons of shit”

Can we all admit this year’s batch of Super Bowl commercials sucked? Where was the originality? The iconic characters? The humor? The only brand that really did anything new or exciting was Miller High Life. In case you missed it, they ran a commercial during the pre-game that made fun of other companies for spending millions of dollars on ad time during the Super Bowl:

Then they snuck in this little gem:

Awesome. Granted, if you missed the setup commercial, you were probably really, really confused. But if you saw it you realized the genius. Now, that’s to the magic of YouTube, we have all of the other ideas that didn’t quite make the cut:

ONE MISSISSIPPI! Awesome. If I start greeting people with “Pigskin gravy”, do you think it will catch on?

You’ve heard this story before. Company buys advertising time during the Super Bowl. Company makes commercial. Network rejects commercial for being too racy. What makes this one different is that it’s not for beer, condoms, or GoDaddy. It’s promoting vegetarianism, and it’s from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, aka Whack Jobs). And what makes it racy is just how attached the women in it get to their veggies. Watch, and admit for just a second that you’re pondering giving up tasty, tasty meat…

Via The Live Feed

Apparently Australia has a big magic competition every year, and Simon Coronel has entered it and performed well for several years. This year he wanted to do something different. Gloriously different. He did his whole routine as Gob Bluth, recreating the character’s most memorable “illusions”. And awesomness ensued. If you’re a fan of Arrested Development you will laugh, hard. If not, you should probably just skip this, since it won’t make a damn bit of sense.

Are you a fan of The Office? Were you, like me, disappointed to see Amy Ryan leave? Well good news: she’s coming back. The show is bringing back Michael’s girlfriend Holly for the season finale, and the producers are trying to get her back for the long term. That would be fantastic since she provided the perfect foil for Michael. What do you think? Happy to have her back?

Actor Ricardo Montalban died today at his Los Angeles home. He was 88.

When the average geek thinks of Montalban they probably picture Khan, the over-the-top Klingon bad guy in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. But since I think Star Trek is generally retarded, and I watched waaaay too much TV that I didn’t really fully understand as a kid, I will always picture him as Mr. Rourke, your host and guide on Fantasy Island.

See, as a child I had a hard time getting to sleep. I would lay awake until the wee hours of the morning (actually, “would” implies that’s changed, which isn’t exactly the case…). So my pediatrician, bless her heart, proscribed a television for my bedroom! I’m not sure this was the most responsible proscription ever, but it certainly planted the seed for my pop culture obsessions. I remember laying in bed watching Heart to Heart, The Fall Guy, The A-Team, and of course, Fantasy Island.

At the time I really had no idea what the show was all about. People would come to this island, a midget dwarf short guy would yell “De plane boss, de plane!”, then an incredibly charming guy with an accent that belied his mundane name, Mr. Rourke, would welcome people to the island and make their dreams come true. For some reason I didn’t think this was strange at all. I loved it. In fact I’m surprised I never asked for a white suit to wear on Halloween. Anyway, my point is, Ricardo Montalban will always be Mr. Rourke to me, and not some fake-chested alien.

Oh, and he was the bad guy in Naked Gun, a noble role indeed.

I’m 99% sure this isn’t a joke…

Check out this amazing commercial from 1994, which couldn’t possibly be 15 years ago now, because that would mean I graduated from high school 15 years ago…Oh god…it’s been 15 years since I graduated from high school…if you need me I’ll be crying in the corner…

Wait, what just happened? I blacked out for a second there. Where were we? Right, the commercial. It’s for a classic infomercial gadget that helps you clean fish. And naturally it’s called the Wunder Boner. Don’t drink anything during this, as it will likely come right out your nose:

If I’m not mistaken that’s Baltimore’s own Mike Rowe doing the voice-over (from Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch, American Chopper, and probably 15 other shows on the Discovery Channel). And “My wife would like that” is just about the funniest line ever uttered in a commercial. Ah, I love the internet.

via BoingBoing

I don’t really get why people complain about a band “selling out”. One of the reasons people form a band is to make a living playing music. If someone is willing to pay you to use your song in their commercial it goes a long way towards making a living. So I tend to be supportive of bands I like having their songs in commercials.

This is certainly the case for The Apples in Stereo’s “Energy” being used in a Pepsi commercial. I’m a big fan of the band, the song, and the product, so it works for me. Check out the commercial below:

And if you like the song, head over to Amazon, where they’re offering it as a free download!

ABC is letting us see a little more of the upcoming fifth season of Lost, this time with a two minute sneak preview of the season premiere. It follows Kate and Aaron, off the island, dealing with a couple of lawyers. Sound boring? Not really. As they always do, the writers of Lost manage to create more questions than answers, even in a short clip. Watch it below to see what I mean.

via SlashFilm

ABC has released a new preview of the upcoming fifth season of Lost, this time set to an annoying song by The Fray. There are a bunch of interesting new tidbits hidden in here, but the coolest may be the semi-subliminal flash of a new airline’s logo. If you pause the video at one of two very precise moments, you’ll see the logo for Ajira Airlines. If you go to their official site you’ll find that “destiny calls” you, and that they can help you “get lost in the world”. Hmm. I wonder if this could be important…

Check out the trailer for yourself, and weigh in on the possibilities the new airlines raises in the comments.

via CanMag

Sometimes in life you need to crank up the “surreal” knob, sit back, and think “Huh, that’s weird”. This, my friends, is one of those times.

It’s Thanksgiving here in the States (easy there Canadians, you already had your fun…). And with Thanksgiving comes the joy of spending time with those you love, and trying not to kill them while cooking with them. Imagine that your family just happens to include Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, and you’ll be in the pseudo-fantasy land where this clip was born:

I wonder if Martha’s website has the recipe for Snoop’s Yac Yac Mashed Potatoes?

via BoingBoing.

Last night I had the opportunity to attend the Baltimore screening of My Name is Bruce, complete with a Q&A with the man himself. The movie was great (you can read the review if you’d like), and Bruce was pretty funny afterward. I managed to record most of the Q&A, so you can decide for yourself if he should quit acting and just do stand-up:
Read the rest of this entry »

ABC has set the premiere date for the upcoming fifth season of Lost, and like the show itself, there’s a bit of a twist. Just like last year the season premiere will be two hours long, and it will be preceded by an hour-long recap show. Unlike last year it won’t be on a Thursday. The network is moving the show back to it’s original 9pm Wednesday time slot, starting January 21st.

Are you looking forward to the Lost premiere as much as I am? Tell me about it in the comments.

Hold out a little longer Jack Bauer fans, your long wait for new episodes of 24 is almost over. If the two hour TV movie 24: Redemption (airing November 23rd) isn’t enough to keep you going, finding out that the premiere of season 7 will be four hours, over two nights, should do the trick. So hang on Bauerites, January 11th and 12 is just around the corner.

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Author, television producer, and filmmaker Michael Crichton died Tuesday at age 68 after a battle with cancer. A Harvard-educated doctor, Crichton left medicine to pursue writing. His books, including Jurassic Park, typically served as cautionary tales about the unexpected repercussions of unchecked scientific progress. In addition to his writing, he directed films like The Great Train Robbery and Runaway, and teamed with Steven Spielberg to create ER, which has seemingly been on TV forever. CNN has more details.

Anyone else out there going through Lost withdrawal? I know I am. We still have almost four months before the fifth season starts in February, but ABC has started the marketing machine up already. The first promo for the season is out, and it predictably gives us just enough information to be intriguing, but not enough to figure out what’s going on.

AdAge is reporting that venerable magazine TV Guide has been sold to a venture capital firm. For $1. Really. The same price as a double cheeseburger at McDonalds. Not only that, but apparently the magazine is in such bad shape that former owner MacroVision, a company specializing in evil annoying copy protection, is loaning new owner OpenGate $9.5 million to get it back on track. Ouch.

I realize that the advent of on-screen guides has rendered TV Guide practically irrelevant as a tool to help viewers plan their TV watching, but you would think that people would still buy it for the articles. Though admittedly I haven’t bought an issue since about 1990. But I figured I just wasn’t the target market. I had no idea that the rest of the country was exactly the same as me.

You may remember TV Guide as a pocket-sized magazine that was a staple of supermarket checkouts. Apparently a while back they changed the size to be more inline with standard magazines. I honestly didn’t know this. I can’t remember the last time I noticed the magazine. Maybe the $1 selling price, which happens to be A THIRD of the price of a single issue, isn’t so surprising after all.

If you’ve been paying any attention to the recent developments in the US Presidential race you’ll realize how dead-on this SNL sketch is:

Nice to see Tina Fey back on SNL. Hell, it’s nice to see her anywhere. She’s really the only person to play Palin for the show though, since there’s a resemblance to begin with. This was the first sketch of the new season, and with a series of prime-time specials covering the POTUS race, it’s certainly good to see SNL in top form.

NBC is getting ready to start beaming the third volume of through the ether, but little bits of information are starting to come out about episode 4. Show creator Tim Kring confirmed that the volume will be called Fugitives, and it will fill the second half of the show’s upcoming third season. It’s set to start at episode 14 and run through the season’s final 12 shows.

If you’re anything like me you can’t wait to see how Villians plays out, and knowing it’s going to lead into something called Fugitives is certainly intriguing. What do you think?

The Olympics have provided NBC with ample opportunity to pimp its upcoming fall lineup. One of the promos they’ve been running a lot is for the upcoming season of Heroes, subtitled Villains. It gives us a good look at Hiro’s new nemesis, and showdowns between Claire and Sylar and Claire and Peter. And it shows glimpses of some other things, included a new villain who seems to shoot some kind of blue energy out of his hands, and Ali Larter being hot. Check it out, and try to contain yourself until the three-hour season premier on September 22nd.

I know, it’s August and Christmas is over four months away. But Analogue has a great feature on the Christmas specials from the short-lived Johnny Cash Show. Grab yourself a cup of eggnog, throw a yule log on the fire, and go watch Eric Clapton with Derek and the Dominoes perform “It’s Too Late”, Ray Charles cover “Ring of Fire”, or Johnny perform “Girl From the North Country” with Bob Dylan.

Johnny Cash Christmas at Analogue

Isaac Hayes, singer, composer, and actor, died today at age 65 at his home in Memphis. Depending on your age you probably know Hayes for different reasons. If you’re in your 30s or older you probably think of him primarily as the man who gave us the theme from Shaft (shut your mouth!). If you’re younger his role as Chef in South Park probably comes to mind first. Either way you should realize that the entertainment world lost a bright star. Here’s something for both generations of Isaac Hayes fans to listen to:

“Theme from Shaft”

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“Chocolate Salty Balls”

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Actor and comedian Bernie Mac, who appeared in movies like the Ocean’s series, Bad Santa, and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, and who had his own sitcom on Fox, is dead at age 50 from complications related to pneumonia.

I never really watched his TV show, but his portrayal of blackjack dealer Frank Catton in Ocean’s Eleven made me a fan. He held his own even among that all-star cast. Goodbye Bernie. Movie fans will miss you.

The Apples in Stereo made a triumphant return (of sorts) to The Colbert Report last night and performed the incredibly catch “Can You Feel It?”. Check it out:

The fine folks behind Lost have traditionally been very good at posing questions, but not too keen on giving answers. With online games, podcasts, and of course the episodes themselves they give us just enough information to keep us hooked, but not really enough to know what’s going on at any given time. Despite this fact, there are those Lost fans that scramble to get their hands on anything the producers will let slip. It’s for those folks that I present the video they showed at the San Diego ComicCon:

Remember, “Time is not just of the essence. It is the essence.”

Remember for a moment back to the end of last year. TV was mired in a writers’ strike, casting uncertainty on the fates of everyone’s favorite shows. One of the casualties was Heroes. The producers decided to cut the season short, reshoot the one of the episodes to make it the finale, and prepare for next season. Fans were understandably disappointed, especially since the first half of the season had been lackluster at best. While anticipation has been high, many fans have still been wondering what might have been. Soon they’ll get a glimpse.

At the Heroes panel at San Diego’s ComicCon the producers announced that the season 2 episodes that had already been filmed last year will be included on the season 2 DVD, along with the original ending of the episode that ended up being the finale. The DVD set (and its Blu-Ray counterpart) is due out August 26th.

via SlashFilm and Ain’t it Cool News

NBC has released another preview of the upcoming season of Heroes, subtitled Villains. The video shows us Level 5, where the nastiest of bad guys are kept. The only problem is the they’ve all escaped. Oops. Check it out:

Heroes: Villains premieres September 22nd on NBC.

What better way to celebrate the independence of your country than to recap it’s founding with a little clip from Schoolhouse Rock:

Happy Fourth everyone!

One can only expect fun and fireworks when two former Daily Show correspondents get together. And that’s just what we got when Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell got together at NYC’s Apple Store for a sit down about Carell’s Get Smart. The pair shows off their wide range of talents when they decide to sing the National Anthem, in harmony! Check it out: